There’s a serious and deeply-rooted problem in the music industry of sexual abuse. It’s as widespread in classical circles as it is in pop, rock, hip-hop, and other genres. And it’s part of the culture of certain institutions, including universities and professional ensembles.
I’m uneasy about writing this, and I debated with myself for some time before doing so. Frankly, it makes me feel sick to think about it.
Unfortunately, this is an additional consideration for choosing a private music teacher or an individual teacher at a university, or for deciding whether to leave one. It pertains mostly to women, but can affect young men, too.
When I was looking for resources about euphonium and trombone playing, I came across reports involving one of the top euphoniumists in the world, Demondrae Thurman. I was very disturbed to learn of his behavior.
I learned a young woman reported an incident that occurred while she was still in high school a few years after the fact. She was inspired to speak up by similar reports from women in the New York Philharmonic.
After she reported Thurman, three other students at the university where he had been teaching, Indiana University, called out two additional faculty members. Soon, the floodgates opened and many more young women shared stories of inappropriate advances and direct abuse.
Some common themes became evident in these reports.
First, the young women saw the older men as mentors and role models. When the men showed interest in the students’ development, they felt honored and special.
Second, the young women were uncertain about where to draw the line between appropriate and inappropriate behavior. Some of the men were expert at explaining away their actions as innocent. When confronted, they often said they thought the attraction was mutual.
Third, many young people don’t have a realistic frame of reference regarding their own potential to excel. When an older, knowledgeable person tells them they’re special, they are thrilled.
Let’s address those three points.
A person may be very good at a particular skill, such as playing an instrument. That doesn’t mean he’s an excellent person in every way. Some men seek professions that will give them access to young women, such as teaching. Every year, there’s a fresh crop of freshman women to harvest.
Others aren’t quite so sinister, but they spend their formative years focused single-mindedly on developing one skill, and they fail to grow up in a balanced way. They may get crushes on their students.
Cellist Yo-Yo Ma quoted a great cellist of an earlier generation, Pablo Casals, as telling the young Ma to practice cello, but also go outside and play baseball. He was talking about developing as a complete person, not just as a cello-playing machine.
Some top musicians never heard that advice. They don’t understand relationships, and when a young woman seems friendly toward them, they misinterpret her intentions.
If you’re taking ballroom dancing lessons or studying judo, there are times when your instructor must touch you physically. That’s not the case with music lessons. There’s never a reason for your music teacher to touch you, except when shaking your hand when they meet you.
Some people say they’re “huggers” or “touchers,” and they like to squeeze your shoulders or place an arm around you - often from behind when you aren’t expecting it. That “friendly” squeeze of your arm or the hand “casually” laid on your thigh is a red flag.
There are individuals who habitually lean into you when they speak to you, and touch you or lay a hand on you while they’re talking. They may think nothing of it, or they may be testing the waters. Ask them to back off and respect your personal space.
Some students are afraid to say their teacher’s behavior makes them uncomfortable because they don’t want to offend their mentor. They’ve been raised to respect people in positions of authority, and to do as they say. This is necessary with young children because they don’t know enough about the world to protect themselves, and they need adult supervision.
Once you reach an age where your body is maturing, some of the same older men who used to protect you may start to see you in a different way. Certainly, older men who didn’t know you when you were younger will tend to see you as a woman and a prospective partner. But your music lessons are not dates.
You should respect your teacher, but respect has to go both ways or it is meaningless. If you tell him you don’t like to be touched, he will stop touching you if he respects you. If, instead, he starts explaining why the touching is innocent, it should set off alarm bells in your head.
The bottom line is there’s nothing about music lessons that requires physical contact. So that’s where the line is.
Even verbal compliments that are unrelated to the music lessons may be a sign of unwanted attention. Your older male teacher should not comment on your hair, eyes, clothes, or anything else besides the lesson.
There are also reports of some of these men sending intimate photos of themselves via text messages or social media, and asking young students to do the same. That’s another line.
You have to speak up immediately when something happens that bothers you. Maybe it’s nothing and maybe it’s something. Either way, don’t remain silent and hope for the best.
I mentioned Yo-Yo Ma, who was internationally famous before he reached the age of 10. There are other examples, like pianist Yuja Wang and composer Alma Deutscher. People like them are rare, and they’re identified very early in life.
If you’re a teenager or a twenty-something, beware of older men who say your talent is extraordinary. If you were the next Wang or Deutscher, you’d know it already and you’d be living a different life.
That’s not to say you have no potential. I believe nearly anyone can become proficient playing an instrument. Some people may have a physical limitation that prevents it, but otherwise it’s a matter of understanding what you need to learn and then doing it. Sometimes it’s good to have guidance, too.
Your teacher should recognize your talent, but if he tells you you’re far more “special” than other students, those alarm bells should start ringing.
I’m sorry to have to say this, but I think it needs to be said and it often isn’t.